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- Pathological jealousy
Some people believe that love without jealousy does not exist. And that is why the desire to always know where your partner is and with whom is the best proof of sincere feelings. And if someone is tormented by constant suspicions, then he is lucky and just does not realize how lucky he is.
Jealousy is a much more complicated feeling, which, however, does not exclude love. Sometimes it is fueled by the second partner’s questionable behavior and lack of attention from him. The logic here is simple: if I do not receive attention, it is given to someone else.
But under the guise of jealousy masks the desire for complete control over the life of the other person. Just forbidding him to leave the house and making him account for every step will not work: too silly it sounds. But if you put everything under the sauce of anxiety and fear that the partner may be stolen, then total control begins to be perceived as something harmless and even desirable.
As a result, the victim of the jealous partner will either jump out of the relationship in time or stop going out and communicating with someone. And social isolation is no longer a hidden sign of psychological abuse.
Demanding access to correspondence
Passwords from all social networks may be demanded from you as proof of love and serious intentions. After all, in a relationship, trust is the main thing, you should not have secrets from each other. At the same time, your partner can be the first to show you his accounts to demonstrate that he is ready for full transparency.
No matter how nice it looks, it’s worth straining. At the very least, people in relationships are still independent units with their circles of communication. And correspondence hides not only their data but also the secrets of interlocutors and corporate information.
In general, the need to read other people’s messages does not withstand any logic. Why does it? To find out in time about the cheating partner? It is unlikely that he will make a prank in correspondence, knowing that it is read. There’s no point in continuing a relationship with someone you don’t trust.
Usually, when you are presented with a choice, it turns out to be a no-alternative. On one side of the scale is “me and our relationship,” and on the other side is something also important, otherwise, the problem simply wouldn’t exist. But such issues are resolved by negotiation and discussion of how to make the interests of each other friendly. You can try here to find a good friend or life partner.
And an ultimatum is just an attempt to squeeze anything your partner doesn’t like out of your life.
- Uncontrollable Passion
Your partner often gets carried away and hurts you or ignores your requests not to do something. Things can end up with hickeys in prominent places, torn-out hair, and scratched back.
A beautiful version would probably be, “You excite me, I just can’t control myself.” But it would be more correct to replace “can’t” with “don’t want to.” Alas, if time after time your requests and desires are ignored, you are perceived not as a full participant in sex, but as an object for the satisfaction of needs. Later objectification can extend beyond the bed.
- Neglect
You got sick and asked your partner to buy medicine, but he forgot, and your recovery will now be delayed. You were going to a concert and bought tickets in advance, but you didn’t get in because he was very late for no good reason. Your parents tell you that their dog, with whom you spent your entire childhood, died. But you are required to “wipe the snot out” and don’t let you get over the grief. Disregarding your health, your emotions, and your desires is also abuse.
- Vicious jokes.
Your partner constantly makes fun of you, including in public. On logical outrage, he accuses you without a sense of humor and continues to bombard you with taunts.
Unfortunate remarks in themselves do not mean anything. Anybody can make a mistake and say something stupid. It is much more telling to ignore the fact that you don’t like these remarks. You may indeed have no sense of humor, but the displeasure should be enough to stop the mean-spirited jokes. You’re in a relationship here, not a standup fest, and comfort is much more important. Alas, systematic humiliation wrapped in a shell of jokes is downright bullying.
- Denigration of acquaintances.
In case of any disagreements with someone, the partner not only takes your side but also actively begins to pour dirt on your friends, colleagues, and parents. All of them, it turns out, is full of flaws that you have not noticed before, and just not worthy to communicate with you. Directly you seem to be not prohibited to meet, but sooner or later you will wonder whether it is worth it to keep in touch with such disgusting people, moreover, upsetting your loved one. They only wish you well. But this is again a road to social isolation. Once you have no one to turn to for help, the emotional abuser will unfold in full force.
- Compliments by comparison
You seem to be showered with compliments, but you are always smart, beautiful, funny, and wonderful only in comparison to someone else. It seems, nothing criminal, but it is worth being wary of. If only because you are not valuable in itself, but in some strange ranking. There is a great risk that soon you will lose a place on the podium to someone and will have to fight for the leadership. Although this is an inherently losing and pointless competition.
- Abuse of surprises.
An unexpected change of plans can make a difference in your life. But not when it becomes an element of control. For example, you’re tired and refuse to go to a party. You plan to spend time playing a computer game, but – surprise – your partner brings the party to you. You wanted to go to a museum on your day off to catch a closing exhibition, but they give you movie tickets. Your desires and needs are not a priority.
- Appearance Control.
If a person criticizes your clothes or hair and demands that you change it the way you like, it’s not a hidden sign of psychological abuse, but a warning siren. However, it is often underestimated, writing off the desire to control someone else’s appearance as a concern.
A partner can express his preferences about your appearance, but his voice in this matter is consultative, not decisive. And his opinion should be given in a delicate non-humiliating manner. If someone begins to change your closet without asking for help, and even more so to spoil and throw things away, it’s a reason to be wary.
